Groomed to Be Insecure: Why You Struggle to Leave

. One of the reasons it’s so hard to break away from your abuser is a lack of inner safety. Insecure attachment is not the same as love. Love is selfless; emotional attachments are selfish. Ironically, you became attached to your abuser from a need for safety. Your abuser exploited your insecurities, primarily your need […]

Nurturing Inner Safety

Even though we hurt beyond comprehension, nurturing ourselves as survivors is a critical first step toward building inner safety. We must take care of ourselves especially when we don’t feel like it. This is nearly a non- negotiable, but highly sustainable investment in our recovery. When we nurture our mind-body connection with self-care activities, we […]

The Weight of Trauma

Sexual violence not only affects us long-term emotionally but for many, it also affects us physically. I’m referring to the weight of shame we carry — the visible weight. It’s a sensitive topic, even for me, but it’s a topic I feel called to write about. First, before you react, I am all about being […]

The Stories We Create

Dearest Survivor: I know how painful it is when you learn the truth that someone isn’t attracted to you the way you are to them. Please, ask yourself this question before you get too deep. Are you attracted to that person, or is it the idea of being accepted and belonging, of being loved by […]

I Can Learn

sher unbound

As a trauma survivor, have you ever:  • Looked at your notes after class as though they were written in a different language? • Been consistently challenged with short-term memory? • Feel as though you struggle to understand or retain new information?  • Read the same material multiple times only to not understand it? • […]